Thursday, February 26, 2004

It amazes me how much we do for God on accident. We go to the grocery store, and it just so happens that even though we were only going for some bread, we wind up discussing spiritual matters with someone in the parking lot. Or, we go walk the dog because she won't shut up, and the neighbor asks about church. None of these things are ever planned. We just sort of trip over them.

Tonight at FUEL we were looking at John 4 where Jesus meets the Samaritan woman at the well. Upon first look it looks like Jesus was thirsty, so he went to get a drink of water from the well. However, Mike, reminded me tonight that Jesus went there on purpose. He went there purposefully to meet the woman at the well, knowing that He would have the opportunity to share His message with her. She, however, was only going to get a drink.

This reminded me of how strategic Jesus was about his mission from God. Nothing he did was done accidentally. Then, I began to think about how so often in my life I had thought differently. I would walk into church and wonder sometimes, "where is everyone...why aren't they here. This is something they really need!" When all along they were all at the wells, going along with there normal, everyday life. Then, it hit me! I must go meet the people at the wells. I must go there for the intent purpose of fulfilling God's mission for my life..."make disciples." I must go to the grocery store because that is where the "well" dwellers hang out. I must go take my dog for a walk when all of the other "well" dwellers take their dogs for walks. I must make a consistent effort to go meet people at their wells, so that I can give them a drink of something that will cure their thirst forever. I must go, and go on purpose.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

You've probably heard the expression, "I've got a little junk in the trunk." Well, I'm starting a new one: "I've got vomit in the backseat." The problem with this expression though is that it is true.

A couple of weeks ago while I was driving Gracelyn home from school, she wasn't feeling well, and she said, "Daddy, I think I need to frowup (throw up...sometimes she has trouble with "th")." So, I with all of the fatherly wisdom I have learned over the years, said, "You'll be ok. Just take a drink of water." Since I am her father and she trusts me, she did just that. Then the frow was up. I heard it and smelled it simutaneously. Gracelyn had vomited all over the back floorboard, herself, and her car seat. Because we were in the middle of the road, there was no where to stop, so by the time we got home it had soaked into the carpet, her car seat, and her clothes. So, I gingerly lifted her up without touching her to my body, as I usually carry her because I didn't want vomit on me. (I know you're thinking, "what a horribly vain man." well...yes I am). So, I carried her in the house to give her a bath and clean her up, all the while vomit was drying in my back seat. Finally when my wife got home, I went out to my truck and began to clean the vomit up...man, was the odor stout! It almost burned my nose to inhale it (but I didn't inhale...I promise). Now, let me make something clear: cleaning it up just meant wiping up the vomit with a towel and spraying some Febreeze in my back seat area to attempt to cover up the odor. It didn't work. So, for the past few days, up until today, I had been driving in a truck surrounded by the odor of old vomit...you know the odor never really changes.

However, things changed today. I put an air freshener on my rear view mirror, and the odor was covered. So, on my way home today, I was reminded that just because the odor was gone, the vomit really was still there because it hadn't properly been cleaned. Then, it hit me. I often to the same thing with sin!!!

I do the best I can to cover it up with sweet smelling Christian jargon, while not really dealing with the sin...allowing God to clean it completely. As I thought about this it reminded me of David and how he did the same thing. He had committed adultery with Bathsheba and attempted to cover it up. However, he came to the point where he had to allow himself to be confronted with the presence of his vomit; thus, he wrote Ps. 51.

PS 51:1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

PS 51:2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

PS 51:3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.


You see, our sin is always before us, as long as we cover it up with sweet smelling words. At some point we all must go before God and ask Him to clean us. He is the only one who can clean up the vomit that we cover up.

May you all experience the cleansing of God today!

Friday, February 13, 2004

Shadow is a good dog. Her hair is black like coal and her nose as cold as the bathtub on a winter morning. Her legs don't move as quickly as they once did and there is a little more grey around her face than when her body was smaller. But I guess with more grey comes more wisdom.

Tonight as I sat down at my computer and had an opportunity to think about all that has transpired this week, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to feel. Part of me wants to weep, but I'm not sure if I can find the tears. Part of me wants to scream, but I don't want to wake anyone up. Part of me wants to run, but my legs are too tired.

Then along comes shadow. When I didn't know what to feel or do, Shadow came and sat at my feet and accepted my hand upon her head. In all of my searching for feeling or doing, I found wisdom in an old black dog. You see, when I am not sure how to feel or what to do, I rest at the feet of my master and accept His hand upon my head. It is then and only then that I am comforted and can go and rest.

Maybe as more grey comes upon my head, I can learn wisdom from an old black dog and receive my master's hand.

Yea, that's the spot.

Monday, February 09, 2004

I write tonight because my heart is heavy. The past couple of days a brother and sister in our Father have become ensnared and dragged away by their own evil desires. My heart aches not only for their misteps, but for the pain that they have experienced prior to this and since. I cannot go into greater detail, but please pray for them. I am afraid that they will compound several poor choices with another.

Also, my heart is heavy for another co-laborer in the Lord who emailed me tonight, telling me of the attacks from the enemy that he has received lately. Please pray for him. He is a wonderful servant of the Lord Jesus. Pray that the Lord would replenish, sustain, and comfort him with the Holy Spirit, so that he may continue to serve the Lord with boldness.

Thank you for your prayers!

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Lately, the Lord has been teaching me much about giving versus taking. He has reminded me that it is not the “church” that has become consumerized (interested in taking/getting). It is me. I am a consumer, but I like to blame the church because if I blame someone or something else, I come out clean. Therefore, I would like to take an interesting look at a parable that Jesus told. Although the parable’s purpose does not deal with consumerism, there are elements, characteristics of my consumer attitude that are there that I had never noticed until recently. This parable is the one about the compassionate father (some have called it “the two sons” and others “the prodigal son”). As I was thinking about this parable a while back, I found myself identifying with the prodigal son in ways that I had never before.

Luke 15:11-20

The Attitude of the Consumer: “Give me”

12 The younger one said to his father, `Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.
LK 15:13 "Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.


The younger son was only interested in receiving. He wanted what was rightfully his, his inheritance from his father. He wanted to live the way he wanted, “wild living.” And he wanted people to feed him. However, after he had squandered what he had been given, he was left empty and hungry.

As I look back on my life, this is what I see many times. I want God to give me what I want. I want a church where I can get fed. I want to live the way I want to live. And when no one is willing to give to me any more, I am left empty and hungry. In other words, my life in this stage focuses primarily on what I can receive. When I have lived my life only seeking what I can get, I wind up in the same place as the younger son…hungry.

The Attitude of the Servant: “Use me.”

LK 15:17 "When he came to his senses, he said, `How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20 So he got up and went to his father.

Notice here the change in the son’s attitude. When he came to his senses, he decides to reconcile himself to his father. One of the ways he is going to do this is by making himself available to be used by his father (“make me like one of your hired men”). When the son left with his inheritance, he was essentially telling himself how worthy he was to get/to receive. However, this time, his attitude changes. His primary focus isn’t to receive from his father. He wants to give…He wants to be used. He is saying to his father, “Use me.”

My attitude, too, must change. I must stop telling God all of the things that He needs to give me. I must stop expecting churches to meet my needs, feed me. However, I must say to God, like Isaiah, “Here I am send me”…Use me…I must say to the church, my wife, my friends, strangers, “let me love you like Christ did and give myself up for you”…Use me.

Wisdom in the Grocery Store
After thinking about this parable, the Lord gave me the picture of a grocery store as an illustration of the attitude that He wants me to have.

When a consumer goes into the grocery store to buy a loaf of bread, he/she buys the loaf that he/she desires to use. You see, I have always seen myself as this consumer; however, I am the loaf of bread. I am the tool that God desires to use to help accomplish the purposes of His Kingdom here on earth. He is the consumer…the user. He desires me to be consumed for His desires.

Therefore, like the prodigal son, I must return to my Father with a changed heart, ready to be used by Him as His servant.

Here I am, Lord, your loaf of bread. What kind of sandwich would you like?