Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Well, I'm not too sure why I'm posting because I don't really want to. In fact these days I don't want to do much of anything. I am tired. I am burned out. I am weak. I am an oxymoron...or maybe just a moron :). I have been overcome with struggles lately. Without going into specific detail, let's just say that the enemy continues to prowl around me like a roaring lion, waiting to devour me. There are parts of me that want to shoot him, engage him, vanquish him. However, I don't have the strength. There are parts of me that want to give up, lie down, be over-taken. I don't want to be overly negative, but I don't want to be fraudulently positive either. I am struggling. I want to stop...get out of this funk. But I don't know how. I don't know if I really want to get out of it. I pray that God would guard my heart right now because I don't have the strength to. I pray that God would join me with others who struggle because I don't know if I could take the condemnation of those who don't, or at least don't admit to it.

Please forgive the self-pity. At this point, I'm bathing in it, and it's warm...dirty...but warm.