Well, I'm finally done with seminary! I want to say that I am really excited, but I'm not really sure how I feel because it does not seem like a reality yet. But, it does feel nice to read what I want, write when I want, and be back to "normal" life. Seminary has been an interestingly scary experience. I have been able to taste what it would be like to live in a white-washed world where the primary stresses are a final exam or a paper to write. Now, it is back to the place where pain really lives and breathes...back to the place where people really don't care what your view is on dispensationalism...which they shouldn't anyway. Anyway, in that sense, it does feel good to be back to some kind of normalcy. However, I have to say that seminary wasn't what I thought it would be.
I walked into the hallways first during the Fall of 2000, excited to learn everything about the bible, get the answers to any question that someone may ask, or even answer some of the questions I had. I walked into seminary looking for answers. However, now that I am walking, it really isn't answers I have, but more questions. Some may think that having more questions is a problem because seminarians are supposed to know the answers. Well, that isn't me. I have learned that the bible is way too complex and God is way to big for me to answer everything. In fact, maybe it isn't even answers that anyone should look for. Maybe learning is really about learning what questions are worth asking.
So, as I continue on in this journey of life, my prayer is that God would always reveal knew questions to me that are worth asking...not so much so that He would give me all of the answers, but so that it would create more dialogue between us. After all God is not a dictionary. He isn't just interested in giving us answers. He is the Creator who is interested in communion with His creation.
My own personal shout out
Thank you Lord, for how You so often carried me through school. Thank You for giving me questions and not always choosing to answer them. Thank You for providing financially, emotionally, and spiritually while I was in school. Finally, thank You for thank You for the beauty of Your Word. May I ever hunger after You through it. Lord, keep me humble, so that I never allow my seminary degree to shape my identity. Thank You!
Friday, December 19, 2003