Today is like any other day, but it is not. Usually on Wed. I am rushing trying to get the powerpoint finished, polishing up on the study for tonight, preparing for an afternoon of lunches at the local high school, and schooling the pastor at a little ping pong. However, today that is not the case. This is my first Wednesday away from youth ministry. Although you would think that I am a bit excited to have a little bit of a break...I am not. My heart aches. I already miss my kids. This has been a difficult week, more difficult than I had initially thought. I knew that I would be transitioning out, and I knew that there would be some sorrow, but today there seems to be a bit of emptiness as I think about my students. I will miss their screams as they play pool. I will miss the ping pong ball bouncing uncontrollably off of the church walls. I will miss the high fives. I will miss the basketball before the Wed night service. I will miss stacking chairs. I will miss the laughter of my pastor. I will miss his friendship. I will miss their friendship.
However, I know that planting this church is God's will. I am certain that before the foundation of the world, God ordained this time. He has never lost control of it, even when my heart was far from Him. As we move completely into our ministry at Resonance, I am reminded of the Waterdeep/100 Portraits song off of Enter the Worship Circle "I Will Not Forget You." The lyrics are as follows:
Many men will drink the rain
And turn to thank the clouds
Many men will hear you speak
But they will never turn around
I will not forget You are my God my King
And with a thankful heart I bring my offering
And my sacrifice is not what You can give
But what I alone can give to you
A grateful heart I give; a thankful prayer I pray
A wild dance I dance before You
A loud song I sing; a huge bell I ring
A life of praise I live before You
Many men will pour their gold
And serve a thing that shines
Many men will read Your words
But they will never change their minds
During the process of this transition, I do not want to forget that God is in control. His will is being done on earth as it is in heaven. Therefore, I want my life to be a life of praise lived before Him. I want to allow His Word to soften my heart, quicken my steps. I want to continue, as Psalm 106:1 says, to "Hallelujah! Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever."
If my memory serves me correctly, the word for love there in Hebrew is "hesed," which refers not just to God's love, but His "loyal love." God's covenantal love that He promised to His children. I want to remember that God's loyal love endures forever. Regardless of what house we live in, what church we minister in, what city we drive through, God's loyal love endures forever. So, I will praise His name. I will live a life of praise before Him.
However, this is not only my prayer, it is the prayer for my students at New Hope. I pray that they would live a life of praise to God in the midst of their transition as well.
Thank you God for sending me to New Hope, and thank you for sending me to Resonance, may everything I do be in worship of You!
Wednesday, September 10, 2003