Well, I didn't sleep as much today as I slept yesterday, but did awake this morning feeling fresh and rested. Yesterday, we took a little trip to the zoo in Oklahoma City. This is something that we try to do in every new place we visit. It's good family time, and it's always fun to see how the kids are so excited to see each animal. Above all, it's a good time to be WITH each other. To me, that's what a vacation is about. Where we go is really irrelevant as long as we are together and have an opportunity to spend some time with friends. I am glad that we could spend this time with Tye, Bronwyn, Alexi, and Taryn. They are good friends...we have secret plans to steal all of them and bring them back to Texas...shhhh, don't tell them.
I also began reading a book called The Shack. I heard someone say the other day that this book "changed my life." It's funny to me when someone says that a book changed their life b/c books don't change lives. Not even the Bible. Books don't change people's lives b/c they are just words. It is God who changes lives. The Bible is a medium which He uses to facilitate this change and show us how God has changed lives throughout history. So, with that said, I don't intend on sharing the same sentiment that this book is life-changing. In fact there are things in the book that I think are potentially dangerous, but I won't get into that here. There was one thing that I did read that was good, as is the case with most things.
The main character is reflecting back on a time where he walked through The Great Sadness. This was a time when sadness was so heavy on his shoulders that he could barely function. We reflecting on this time he realized that there were many lies associated with The Great Sadness. This is SO true. In know this to be true because back in 2006 I walked through a Great Sadness myself. I became so convinced of lies about myself, my identity, my value...many more that I can't even recount. As I stand on the other side of that Great Sadness, I know:
1. God is faithful whether I believe it or not. His faithfulness is not contingent upon whether I think He is or not. He simply is. Even when all I could see was darkness, His Light was there. My vision was just narrow. It was as if I was squinting my eyes, only seeing the darkness. When my eyes finally were opened, the darkness was only a shadow. His Light far outshines the shadows. I love Him and am so very thankful to be loved by Him.
2. My wife is a perfect gift from God. She hurt so much for me during my time of darkness. It is difficult for me to even type this knowing how much pain I put her through. But this is not about recounting pain. The truth about a gift is that it's not deserved. So, she loves me and is one with me not because I deserve her. A gift is also something that is given. This seems simple, but the truth that resides there is incredibly weighty. She was given to me by God, by my Father who knows exactly what I need, who knows me more intimately than anyone else. When He wrote her name on my heart, He knew what He was doing. My wife is a beautiful, compassionate, loving woman. Kristi, I will spend the rest of my life loving you and learning how to love you in the way our Father has designed us to love each other.
3. My children need a father. They don't need my salary. They don't need my "perfection." They don't need words. They need me. They need me when I am standing tall, strong and confident. They need me lying face down, week and broken. The fatherhood thing is definitely a journey. I am learning as I go. Gracelyn and Caleb, I love you and will continue to raise you and father you as long as God plans for me to do so. As you grow, I want you to remember that everything I do as a father is done trying to show pieces of our Father's character to you. I'm proud of you.
God, thank you for the Great Happiness that I now live in. You are faithful.
Let's just say I caught up on sleep. I think I slept a total of 12 hours yesterday. WOW! I guess my body needed to catch up on some rest, so needless to say, I'm still a little groggy this morning, but am excited to hang out with my family and our friends.
We are at Tye and Bronwyn's house, and it's been nice being with them. We met Tye and Bron when we were a part of an organization called Apartment Life. We were placed at an apartment community in Plano as activity planners and resident care providers. Essentially our responsibility was to plan activities for residents and be available to provide for the residents' physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. It was a time when we were able to see what it looks like to extend the Love of God to all types of people. We absolutely loved it and are thankful for the relationships that were born out of this season. We shared a lot of laughs and some tears with Tye and Bron and consider it an absolute privilege that they would host us on this first leg of our vacation.
Well, I'm off to shower and go to the zoo. Maybe I'll actually be able to stay awake most of the day today.
Peace Out.