Just Thinking

Not too much to say right now...maybe I talk too much anyway...

Many thoughts brewing, but none have completely come to the surface yet.

Please don't go away. I don't know if my poor self-esteem could take it.

Much has happened since the last time I blogged. A few weeks ago I had to buy a new computer because my other one decided that it had had enough. It revolted...went on strike...retired...quit! So, I was quite frustrated since I do nearly everything on the computer. About that time, Gracelyn had another incident. She was playing and turned her head quickly, straining a muscle in her neck. She was completely incapacitated. I had to carry her to the bathroom or anywhere else that she needed to go. It was extremely frustrating! You see, I am a "fix it" kind of person. If something isn't working, I want to make it work. If something is broken, I want to find some way to fix it. Both of these situations were such that I could really fix neither of them. So, I did the next best thing, I got mad at God and let Him have it. Yes, I know what you're thinking..."you showed Him didn't you." or "wow, what a mature disciple...did you learn that in seminary?" I had basically had enough. As we were preparing to take Gracelyn to the doctor (yet again), I gave God an earful. What was interesting is that I didn't get any indication of a response. It seemed as if He just let me vent.

So, in my mind here is what I was thinking:
1. I am living in a town where I don't feel like I fit.
2. I have felt like I was in constant transition from the time we moved out here.
3. I'm tired of things happening to my daughter that I can't fix (her cheek...now the neck)
4. My wife was denied family medical leave act, and her position could be filled before her return to work.
5. I had to buy a computer which we could not afford.

So, it was as if I was going down the list, telling God what I had "suffered" through...as if He hadn't been there through all of it.

Then God spoke.

It was about a week after my tirade when we received a letter in the mail which contained a check that paid for 90% of the computer. Immediately Kristi and I were overwhelmed! We didn't really deserve this check. Besides I had been such a big baby. As soon as I saw the check, it was as if God said to me. I've always taken care of you, and I am not going to stop now.

A few days later God spoke again.

We received another letter in the mail, and upon opening that letter we received another check, which paid for the rest of the computer. This check came from quite an unlikely source, which made it mean that much more. This check was from a couple who can barely afford to pay their rent. Wow! Again, I was overwhelmed with God's grace.

As I look back over the past few weeks, I am again encouraged by God's provision and the obedience of His children who listened to His voice.

Over these last few weeks Psalm 34 has spoken much comfort and encouragement to my heart.

34:1 I will praise the Lord at all times;
my mouth will continually praise him.
34:2 I will boast in the Lord;
let the oppressed hear and rejoice!
34:3 Magnify the Lord with me!
Let’s praise his name together!
34:4 I sought the Lord’s help and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
34:5 Those who look to him for help are happy;
their faces are not ashamed.
34:6 This oppressed man cried out and the Lord heard;
he saved him from all his troubles.
34:7 The Lord’s angel camps around
the Lord’s loyal followers and delivers them.
34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good!
How happy is the one who takes shelter in him!

David wrote this Psalm after he tried to fix a problem that he had. He pretended to be insane before Abimilech (1 sam. 21:10-15). However, David recognizes in this Psalm that it not he who can fix his problems. Notice in verse 2 he does not say that he will boast in what he can do. He boasts in the Lord. It is the Lord who helps, answers, delivers, hears, saves.

Yes, I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good! So, I too boast in Him.